Male!BelarusxReader: Love Kills

“Haven't I beaten you enough?” You growled, turning quickly on your heels to face your stalker.

Said 'Stalker'- a man named Nikolai with platinum blond hair and deep purple eyes, glared at you coldly, almost scowling.

“Stop following me, you creep!” You hissed, furious with him. It had been three months since he started following you, and no restraining order or bodyguard could keep him away. He was a master at tracking people, and especially you. No one could catch him unless he wanted to be caught.

Sneaky little brat.

“No.” Nikolai breathed, and stepped closer to you with unchanging, cool eyes.

“You're breaking the restraining order! Come any closer and I'll tear you to shreds!”

“I don't care, a piece of paper can't stop me.” He murmured, and continued forward toward you, grabbing your wrist in his big hand tightly

You tried to pull yourself away, but in the mere seconds you had to struggle, he was already pinning you to his chest, ceasing nearly all movements possible.

“Please don't struggle, my love, I don't want to hurt you.” He said calmly, trying to sooth your roaring rage.

It didn't work.

“Yeah, well, I want to hurt you, you slimy snake!” You seethed, and began attaching what part of him was exposed to you.

“There was a time you loved me...When you came to my side willingly...Why do you fight it now?”

“That was before I knew how much of a psychopath you were! I was innocent back then, I didn't know to avoid you, you demon!”

“You've said such before, and you repeat them once again in anger. I'm not trying to hurt you...I just want to take back what was mine before.” He whispered into your ear, and shivers ran up your spine.

“You're controlling and obsessive! You're insane! I was held hostage in my own home because of you!” You hissed once again and broke his hold just the tiniest bit.

Oh, he wasn't having that.

His grip tightened, and he placed a gentle kiss on your neck, his teeth grazing across your skin, summoning goosebumps along your smooth skin. He took a little bit in between his teeth, biting down ever so softly – if a bite could be considered soft- and you suppressed a yelp. You weren't about to give him the satisfaction of pulling a sound he'd consider to be of pleasure out of you.

“You will be mine, (Name)...Just as you always were..You loved me, and I know you still do.” He reminded, his soft hand stroking your hair gently.

Stupid Nikolai...No matter your protests, he was right, and he knew it too. You loved him

You had always loved him.

But you never spoke a word of it, no, the pain that came with that poison was too much to handle. He was die hard devoted to his sister, Anya, and there just wasn't any room for you. He loved her lawlessly, chased her endlessly, and unbelievably loved her – unconditionally. Obsessively.

Then why was he chasing you?

Well, in a fit of anger and uncontrollable jealousy, you had lost your grip over your actions, and a crime of passion took place.  

You had killed Anya. His beloved sister's blood was on your hands. Of course, you hadn't meant to take her life, it just..Happened.

You couldn't take her selfishly taking up Nikolai's attention and then complaining about it. She had no idea how lucky she was. Sure, she feared him, but you would have killed to have the attention she had.

Oops. You guessed you did 'kill' for what she had.

Sometime between your screaming fit taking over you and her second late fear you had taken her tiny gardening shovel that she always carried and shoved it right through her skull mercilessly. Her body hit the ground with a thud, and the sound snapped you out of your rage with just enough time for you to meet her pleading lilac eyes pour into your own (e/c) orbs, betrayal seeping from her every pore.

You cried out in shock and horror, looking at your hands and seeing those of a monsters. Your knees met the cold ground and you heaved a heavy sob, holding her body to your own. Oh god, what had you done to the poor girl? Your best friend, your sweet, kind, best friend? Such a nice girl, haunted by her brothers undying devotion, and here, her 'best friend', had brought her to her death.

You dropped her body almost immediately.

Her brother.

Nikolai was going to kill you...

You ran faster than you thought humanly possible, fleeing the scene and Nikolai's wrath almost immediately. He would rip your still beating heart out of your chest and eat it right before your eyes if he ever caught you...You had no choice but to run from the scene of the crime. But you just didn't stop there, oh no, Nikolai knew where you lived, you had to leave the city! The Country!

You'd damned yourself the moment you lost your temper..No matter how far, how fast, how long you ran, Nikolai always found you.
So here you were. He'd caught you again.

You didn't even know if he knew you killed her..You just assumed he knew. He had to know. Why else would he be chasing you?

Love makes you do crazy things, but his pursuit of you made your guilt expand to the equivalent of a million suns. Each moment you saw him, you died a little more inside. You hated yourself, and in each spit of anger where you'd gone toe to toe with him, you were reminded by your guilt that you hated yourself, not Nikolai.

No. The only anger you could find tied to Nikolai was the anger that he found you each and every time. What did you expect, though? It was Nikolai. Once he had a target, it never went out of his sights.

You were aware of his movements, his arms around you, and in the moments before you guilt smacked you upside your head, you had the thought of giving into him. Resting your head on his shoulder and weeping into him like you'd never wept before. To surrender yourself to the Heaven, the angel, known as Nikolai.

With as much force as you could muster in your crumbling state, you freed one arm and swung with all your might, landing a crude right hook in his jaw. Almost immediately, he jumped away from the pain, and you spun out of his grasp.

“Stay away from me!” You shrieked, preventing yourself from sobbing as your eyes landed on the fresh bruise growing on his face. You ran up the stairs, fleeing from the man you loved when all you wanted to do was crash into his arms. Your heart was heavy with regret and remorse, the guilt like cement covering your body in an unbreakable cage.

That stupid, stupid man! Didn't he know the closer he got to you the more it hurt? He was just a constant reminder of your mistake, of the pain you'd caused him! Why couldn't he just leave you alone?

“(Name), I will never stay away from you! I will follow you to the end of this damned Earth if I have to! We will be together as one!” He seethed, growling back at you as he jumped back to the chase.

You chocked back more tears as you glanced once more at his jaw. You couldn't stand yourself anymore. You'd hurt him so much! When was enough? When would you draw the line to this torture?

“C-Creep!” You cried, dodging his grasp as he lunged forward.
Every moment he chased you reminded you of when he used to chase Anya. Oh god, why did you have to think of her?

The guilt stabbed at your heart twice as hard now, and you felt the hot salty tears uproot themselves from their ducts. Why did you feel this way? You should be happy. You had what you wanted, Anya was out of the picture, and Nikolai was chasing you. You should enjoy this...

You sobbed inwardly and shook your head, covering your eyes with your hands and ran to the roof, skipping up three steps with each bound you took.

You couldn't live like this anymore..Three dammed months you had run from him, this torture was consuming. What you had done was unforgivable...She didn't deserve to die!Why couldn't you just take her place and bring her back?

You jumped when a hand gently shook your shoulder.

“Ah!” You spun, slapping the hand away and turning toward the figure behind you.

Much to your relief, it was just Alice, who looked quite confused at your behavior.

“Bloody Hell, (Name)! You made me jump!” Alice sighed, holding her hand away from you.

“I-I'm sorry...I thought you were Nikolai...”You sighed, but at the mention of his name, you couldn't help but glance around...God knows he'd followed you up here...Where had he gone? Where was he hiding?

Your paranoia grew.

“Nikolai? Anya's brother? Why would he be chasing you?” Alice asked, raising an eyebrow.

At the mention of both their names and your current police chase, you cringed.
“I've no idea.'

“Well...Anya was found murdered three months ago, right before you left, but you might not have heard about it...Poor thing...Most thought Nikolai had done it, but he was proven innocent, and ever since then, he'd up and left...”

“Anya's dead?” You gasped, knowing very well your face went pale. You felt even more horrible lying to Alice, and you hated yourself even more as she gave you a look of sympathy.

Why couldn't you just die right there?

“Yeah..Poor girl had her own shovel shoved right through her skull..The scene was horrible..Her head split right in half, brains scattered about...She really didn't deserve it...Rumor has it once Nikolai saw the scene and was able to leave, that he went after her killer..No one's seen him around here for three months...”

“He think I killed her?” You cried in horror, your eyes going wide.
Oh god, you deserved an Oscar. Once upon receiving it, though, you'd promptly kill yourself with it. You felt dreadful..When did it all end?

Alice took you into her arms and calmed you down a little bit. “I've no idea...Perhaps he's seeking comfort? God knows a delicate thing like you couldn't kill her..” Looks were so deceiving, weren't they? “You two were friends all those years ago..And you're the only one left to talk to. You and him knew Anya best, maybe he just wants some company and comfort..”

“...What?”

“I mean, it's very difficult to imagine Nikolai with actual emotions, but perhaps he seeks you for something similar to what he can muster up as sadness. I can imagine that after someone so dear to you dies, you'd need some sort of comfort...You'd be the only one who he'd run to...You two were inseparable.”

True. When Anya wasn't around.

Alice did have a point though...What if Nikolai only wanted company? Comfort? You'd be the only other person he'd know to receive that from, seeing as everyone else was scared of the man.

You sighed, collecting yourself. You couldn't deny him comfort, even if it would be the death of you. He was in his every right to ask it of you, restraining order or not.

You gave Alice a small smile and nodded. “Alright..I'm going to go find him,” You knew he would never be too far from you. “He at least deserves some company in his mental state...”

“You're a brave soul, (Name).” Alice breathed, but gave a teensy, tiny smile. “Braver than the rest of us.”

Without another word, you left Alice and turned back to the stairs, walking slowly so Nikolai would know you weren't running from him anymore.
It wasn't long until he appeared out of thin air in front of you, leaning against the wall casually.  You jumped a tiny bit, but quickly recovered, silencing your fear. He needed you, there was no reason to be scared.

“Nikolai.” You gave a tiny smile, and glanced up his gorgeous body. It was a bitter sweet action, because once your eyes reached his face, you noticed the bruise again and held back a sob.

“You're not running anymore...You must have accepted our fate together.” He stated, with an air of slyness. His Belorussian accent was heavy, and it gave you a remorseful smile. If hadn't been for Alice's words, you'd of sunk to your knees right there, begging for forgiveness, for mercy, even if someone like you didn't deserve it.

But the look in his eyes...Was it your imagination, or did you see sadness?
He was definitely more relaxed, his features setting to a more gentle look, but you knew better than to judge things based off looks. You knew very well that his strength was one to be envied, and that he was always ready to pounce.

“It came to my attention that you have been following me because you seek comfort...You should have said so, Nikolai..I was your childhood friend, I would never deny you comfort. I can't find it in my heart to prevent you from a balanced emotional state...So here I am.”

He gave a sly, fox like smile. “...I am not seeking comfort, my love. I seek you. You, and only you, to be mine once again.”

“Your sister died, Nikolai...I know you loved her, you must be hurting...Please don't hide your feelings...I want to be here for you..It's okay to feel sad-”

Nikolai chuckled darkly. “Silly (Name), my sisters death was a fault all her own. She let her guard down, underestimated the power of true love. She denied me, and died for it...I think we both know very well she paid for her sins...We're alike, which is why we're perfect together, so much more so than you believe. If it were you who had been chasing someone you loved who denied you endlessly, and they died, I would assume you'd chase the other equal love you've always had...The one you knew always loved you, but seemed to have forgotten as you got caught up in someone else's spells."

Your heart stopped, and for a moment, a real smile broke through your mask. He loved you...He just admitted he was blinded by Anya, and getting her out of the way made him realize he loved you more...But your heart froze only seconds later as you read between his words. Indirectly, he'd just told you he knew.

But that he loved you enough not to kill you.

“I do not seek comfort, (Name), and do not be foolish enough to think I've come all this way to hurt you...I seek you, in every sense of the matter, the love we share, the love we have shared...The love we will share. It is my right to claim it, just as it is yours...Although I was blind and you chose to ignore it...We still have it...It's a very special thing, and we should cherish it.” He stepped in front of you, his arms wrapping around you gently. Like gravity, you two were pulled together, and for a moment, you could have sworn the love in his eyes was tangible.

“Even more so because you've killed for our love.” He whispered seconds later, and your face dropped, your eyes going wide.
“Wha-What?”

“Did you really think I didn't know? You took matters into your own hands. You saw something you wanted, something you loved, and took it. You cleared away what was blocking our love...You rekindled our love by disposing of the blockage, and that is worth far more to me than someone who has done nothing but ran all of their life from me. I admire a strength similar to my own, someone who understands...And you, (Name), have always understood.  You did what needed to be done...”He kissed your forehead and squeezed you closer in his arms.

“But she was your sister...”You whispered, almost afraid to admit that the guilt was dying inside you..

You felt like a bird being freed from it's cage.

Baby steps, baby steps. You had to pace yourself before you completely demolished your self torture.

“She was in the way.” He assured, the attraction in his voice making you swoon.

The smell of him intoxicated you. That natural woodsy musk and the faint scent of black cherries, you'd known it all your life as the scent of love. The scent of forbidden fruit. But now...

You took a deep breath, breathing him in, falling into his arms.

“She was..”You admitted, smiling up at him. Your voice was barely a whisper, and Nikolai kissed your next words away, claiming your lips for himself.

“I'm glad she's gone.” He gave a smile and before you knew it, you were swept off your feet, being carried by Nikolai down the stairs.

“We're free.”

“It's wonderful.”

“How lovely.”

“I've never felt so free.”

“We are free from her curse. We can be together now.”

“Forever.”

Did he know how gorgeous he was? His looks stunned you like nothing else before, and you gave a small giggle at your lightheartedness. Your mind was on the highest high it had ever been on, the high of Love.

You never waned to come down.

“I love you.” You whispered into his ear and he gently nipped at your neck.

“You're killing me woman...You know I love you...You're mine now...Oh, to all heavens high above, let them all know my undying love for you..”

With those final words on the subject, you smiled, and rid of all of your guilt, letting it slip through your fingers. You were happy now. You were with Nikolai...What could be better?

Anya was out of the way, and you two were together...Forever.

People would kill for the kind of love you had....And thankfully, you'd already killed for it.